TellTale

sayonara.....

2009-10-05T15:16:00.000+08:00

Till here everyone... =) Bye!!!

2009-07-08T10:05:00.003+08:00

Whenever i watch a movie,
and see a guy going down on one knee,
with a ring in his hand to propose to the gerl he loves,
i would think to myself,
whether that is sumting that even happens in real life...

=)

2009-06-26T20:48:00.003+08:00

The news of Michael Jackson's death reali shocked me..
When SR told me about the news, i was a bit reluctant to believe..
Becoz i've been hearing all kinds of tings from the radio..
At times i reali wonder whether it's real or not..
Wateva it is, the world has lost a musical legend..
He has contributed to the music world and his presence will be greatly missed..
Personally, i do feel the loss.. =(
Looking back at all his achievements, listening back to his music, noting will ever replace it..

Michael Jackson will be greatly missed by all..
His music will continue to play in everyone's minds..
His memories, irregardless of the negativity that played around him, will continue to live on..
My prayers are with him..
May he rest in peace..
May his family find closure..

R.I.P,
MICHAEL JACKSON
1958-2009......

2009-06-10T22:36:00.002+08:00

I haven been updating for quite some time..
Nt dat busy but time is now well spent with my loved ones..
Werk has been ok i guess..
Everyone slowly getting back on track..
Now da team says goodbye to five more officers..
They'll be moving off to another npc..
Although we'll be in da same division, sincerely wish them all da best..
Hope that they will be able to adapt in a new environment..

The farewell pit organised for them went reali well..
The food was great, the company was fun and well, feels like family..
Not everybody was present but most of them had sumting urgent to attend to..
The most important ting was, those five leaving came..
A lot of tings were said..
Some we wish we could take back..
But now, we know that, everyone has a connection with each other..
Although we may disagree on sum issues..
But at the end of da day, we are still team-mates..
And we do care about each other..

To those five leaving, u're nt onli our team-mates, but also our friends.. =)
Take care..

2009-05-03T14:15:00.002+08:00

Sumtimes i wonder whether people ask becoz they care, or juz so that they are juz plain busybody..
My close frens ask becoz they care and i noe dat becoz wat is discussed between us, remains between us..
But it gets on my nerves when others juz kip lingering around me juz so that they can dig out stuff from me..
I hate that so much..
Is it that hard to haf a personal life?
True wat a fren of mine said, there's no secret in the place we're werking..
But i juz wanna haf a personal life, away from the scrutiny of everybody..
Sumtimes i have to make difficult decisions..
But i'm glad he understands and supports me..
Both of us are under-taking means and ways juz so that we can keep tings between us private..
Its taxing at times, but there are times wen its exciting..
Juz playing hide and seek with people..
But how long can we keep it up?
I mean, its nt as if we're in it for fun..
I'm nt da type to jump into any r'ship happily and move one..
I don't noe how long we can keep this up..
Only God noes i guess..

Haiz.......

Oh....
He bought 2 more Care-Bears to add to our collection... =)
Thankiew so much.... <3

2009-04-25T16:56:00.001+08:00

I only managed a PASS...
I'm nt jappy and i'm utterly disappointed with myself..
If only i had pushed a bit more..
So i will give one more shot..
To shave off those few seconds to get a SILVER..

2009-04-12T18:16:00.005+08:00

My lovelies... =)

An old time partner in crime.. =)

Care-bears are invading the world... =p

My beautiful friend with her beautiful baby, Aqil... =)

My new favorite haunt.. =)

I'm actuali comtemplating resignation...

Guess i'm no longer needed.. =(

Why do vicious rumours haf to arise??

Resulting in the diminishing of my spirit..

I'm crying but it doesn't show my pain..

It's my heart dat is bleeding dat pulls me down..

Was it a mistake from the start?="(

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder..

2009-04-10T23:53:00.001+08:00

It was a close call for Anoop..
It was all becoz of da wrong number dat was on his fansite.. Aiyo...
But nevertheless, he's IN!!!!! Yeay!!!
Next week is MOVIE WEEK!!!

2009-04-08T12:01:00.004+08:00

Young Anoop =)

My Anoop!!! =)

2009-04-07T17:17:00.001+08:00

I lurve my Anoop.... =p

2009-04-07T15:45:00.002+08:00

Oh my Gosh... Life is so unfair..
Haiz..
Anw, IPPT coming up..
I hate relationships.. (No Offence to anyone, including u dear)
Tings are juz so complicated wen there are juz too many people involved..
I mean outsiders who juz haf to add salt and pepper..
Too many cooks spoils the dish..
Argh!!!
I need my self-confidence back..
I wan my determination back..
Were did it all go?
I have lost myself again..
And i gained weight!!! Argh!!!

My new list::

1. Lose weight
2. Pass my IPPT and get it over and done with..
3. Pick myself up from dis shambles..
4. Slap/kick/whack/throw/punch somebody.. =p

2009-03-30T11:05:00.008+08:00

My Anoop!!!!!

Those lips are so KISSABLE!!!!

*Faints!!!

Absolutely ADORABLE-LICIOUS!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!

2009-03-24T22:44:00.001+08:00

If only life can be as peaceful and calm as the ocean..
If only life itself can emit such beauty a sunset potrays..
If only..........

2009-03-21T23:18:00.003+08:00

I lurve ANOOP DESAI!!!!

2009-03-18T15:52:00.001+08:00

I'm sick and tired of the things dat is going on now..
Are my dreams suppose to be short-lived??
=((((

2009-03-10T13:00:00.002+08:00

I'm in Lurve with Anoop Desai...... *meltz.......
Can i have him for my birthday present??????
Anyone???? =p

2009-02-25T18:34:00.009+08:00

Mine and "His".. =)

Absolutely lurve dis lanterns @ Clarke Quay.. =)

2009-02-18T13:14:00.003+08:00

*MELTZZZZZZ.........*

I'm in lurrrvvvveeeeee...... =p

2009-02-13T19:21:00.001+08:00

ANOOP DESAI!!!!!

I'm in lurve... *meltz!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-12T12:35:00.004+08:00

Frens that offers a shoulder wen u cry..

Frens that sit by ur side no matter how angry u are..

And them knowing that they're gonna be da victim's of ur rage..

Frens that help u no matter how deep a hole u haf fallen into..

Frens that would sacrifice fatigue and hunger juz so they can accompany u..

Frens that laugh together at wateva nonsense that is not even funny..

Frens that will stay by ur side and face da music together even wen they are not involved..

Frens who supports u in wateva u do..

Frens who learn to accept tings they hate juz so they can make u happy..

Frens who makes u feel u don't need a bf to be happy becoz they pamper u enuf and entertain ur nonsense more den any guy could..

Frens who are willing to go tru thick and thin no matter how much we hate each other's guts at times..

My 2 frens who made everyting possible..

Who made me stay strong..

Who made me realize dat they are always there for me..

Who made me feel loved and appreciated..

My best frens.. =)

My 2 little brothers who has been der since i ferst came..

I'm containing my sadness but i noe i can't kip it in for long..

Da 2 who has always been by my side..

Supporting me..

Stopping my tears..

Making me laugh..

Sharing my workload..

Contribute to my anger at times.. *GRRR*

Teasing and entertaining me..

Helping me find a way wen i'm lost.. *although at times we're both lost..

Teaching me tings i never knew about my werk..

Teaching me patience..

Caring for me..

Pampering me at times..

Many more tings dat werds can't even describe..

I lurve both of u wit all my heart..

Our team will never be da same wifout u guys..

U guys haf been da most hard-werking SC's dat go way beyond da limit to make sure tings run smoothly..

Sum of the regulars cudn't even be compared to how capable both of u are..

I wish both of all da best..

My prayers are constantly wit both of u..

I will never forget how both of u haf made an impact on my life..

2009-02-06T21:22:00.001+08:00

I'm ANGRY. Very ANGRY.

2009-01-20T00:04:00.005+08:00

Really happy for a friends of mine..
My primary school fren, who is also like a sister to me is 7 months pregnant..
Congratulations sweethart.. =)
Dis weekend's gonna be kinda hectic coz both Sat and Sun is fully booked..
Well, gez i had more den enuf rest with 2 days MC..
Bored as hell mann staying home..
Can't wait to start werk again..
Weird, considering sumtimes im in no mood to werk.. =p
But hey, werk kips me goin and i miss my team.. =)

Why do u haf to kip on reminding me of da past??
U told me to move on and find my own happiness..
But now, u are making me fil guilty for being happy..
U shud haf thot about dat before leaving me crying alone dat day..
Life has to go one.. Rite?

2009-01-18T20:19:00.002+08:00

Lately, tings have been quite confusing for me..
Esp matters concerning "him"..
We have agreed on certain lines dat haf to be drawn..
And "he" noes the risks i'm taking by being wit him..
Wateva it is, i'm going into this with an open mind..
I'm not expecting anyting to happen between us..
I am scared of getting hurt again so my defences are way up with "him"..
And "he" hasn't been seeing da good side of me..
I've been giving "him" da real me..
Whether at da end of da day "he" stays or goes, it makes no difference to me..
I feel rather bad saying all dis, but i haf my reasons..
I don't wanna get tings blow up in my face again..
Coz it wasn't easy picking myself up off from dat rubble..
I'm glad i haf a couple of da most best friends any gerl could ask for..
They haf been by my side and making me fil safe..
And not to forget keeping me safe..
Although at times i'm scared dat it's wishful thinking on my part..
However, i cudn't haf asked for more..

Da 3 of us haf come to a stage wer we're planning our future in da force..
We each haf our own visions..
Yes, da fear is still in each of us..
But we noe, sooner or later, we haf to cross da bridge..
No matter wat, be it 10-20 or even 40 years down da road,
i'll still lurve u guys wit all my heart.. =)

2009-01-07T12:07:00.002+08:00

To start off, 2009 has been quite a challenge..
Although there are some positive points dat i am happy about..

So far, tings have been quite messy..
Trying to tie up loose ends here and there..
Issues concerning my family, friends, love and werk..
I have to start considering whether i am cut out for the job i am in now..
It will be officially 2 years next Feb 12th..
Time seems to fly right before my eyes..
Although at times i feel like the day wud never end..
There are a lot of tings in 2009 where i reali haf to buck up in..

Many changes coming along the way..
Many opportunities opening up..
Choices that have to be made wisely..
I do not wanna end up in a dead end position wer all i can do is look back and regret..
Gotta reali plan out for wat lies ahead of me..
Nothing stays the same forever..
Hmmm...
Maybe dat includes love too..
Shud i or shudn't i?

2008-12-27T09:32:00.003+08:00

I gez last morning shift both Vincent and i got our Christmas "wish"..
But it came in a package of 2 for 1..
Well, Christmas is da season of sales and discounts..
And furthermore, in dis financial recession, we cud do wit some cut back..
LOL!! =p
I miss dos times wer we reali had to sweat it out..
Never mind..
Next year we're gonna start it off with a bang..
I noe Kin, Ali and including me, we're itching for some actions..
Its becoming a bit stagnant, although there are occasional funny/interesting happening..
But noting beats werking alongside people dat u care about..
Next year, i will be more positive.. =p
And much more nicer and more "lady-like".. =p

My resolution for da next year is to put everything in my life back together..
All da mess dat haf yet to be cleaned up..
All da scattered up thots..
I will slowly put them and piece them back up bit by bit..
I believe in Karma..
What goes around comes around..
So der's no point in bearing grudges to anyone..
Gonna start da new year wit a clean slate..
Mayb give love another shot.. =p (not wit my ex though)
I made it a year in NPC and i hope dat i can be better next year..
I got a lot of people to thank for helping me up wen i was down..
For giving me dat extra shot of confidence and strength..

There's a good fren of mine who quoted before,
"If u can't win a losing battle, at least go down fighting hard.."
Well, i wil definitely go down kicking, punching and every available use of force dat i can apply..
LOL!! Well, dat's me..
And i haf yet to try out the Muay Thai Gym!!
Anyone care to join me???? =))

2008-12-21T20:13:00.002+08:00

I hate being sick.. Gosh!!
My nose is clogged up and my eyes feel so hot..
Although the week's activities was rather hectic, managed to settle most of my stuff..
Aniwaez, went to Beach Road wit my nephew juz now..
He wanted to find some of his army stuff..
After buying his stuff, dropped by Kg Glam and along da way disturb Vincent.. LOL!
We went to GMC to get sum stuff..
Well, i noe dat dat place is da most unlikely place to get stuff, but they have loads of tings der..
And we stumbled upon a new Muay Thai gym..
My nephew and i were juz itching to join da training..
It's been God noes how long we've trained..
I told "him" about it..
He was rather worried but he supports me..
Thank u!! =)
And yes Vincent, i noe i have to train up on my running.. =p

*To you, wat are you trying to do??
We have agreed to go our separate ways..
Why are u telling me all dis negative thots dat u have?
It took me great pains to get over you..
Don't push me back into a corner wit all dis negativity..
Let me find my happiness..
Please..... =""(

2008-12-20T22:19:00.003+08:00

"As we grow older, our worries, doubts, problems will increase..
Coz we will carry more "things" over our backs..
Things will fall generally into 4 categories like
1. Love
2. $$$
3. Work
4. Family
Sometimes the answers we seek is not right in front of us..
Sometimes we just have to let nature take its course..
But remember that we are never alone, as family and friends are always there to support one another..
There will always be new issues coming and there's no escape from it..
We have to learn to challenge, solve or sometimes, avoid it for the time being.."

Thanks Vincent.. =)

A fruitful week has ended..
A rather exhausting but reali productive week..
2 silvers and 1 bronze.. =)
Alhamdullillah.. =)

For more fotos, check out my multiply->> http://norainoon.multiply.com/

2008-12-17T19:42:00.004+08:00

Honestly, i was taken aback at how things haf turned out recently..
Been feeling reali confused and lost dis past few days..
I reali wanna find the answers to all the questions dat is lingering in my head..
But truthfully, der's no place dat i can run to..
I dont noe wat are da answers dat im seeking for..
But der are juz too many questions in my head..
And all da questions are why, why and more why..
Damn i hate dis feeling..

2008-12-15T02:00:00.003+08:00

Angel - Natasha Bedingfield

a.n.g.e.l
a.n.g.e.l
Just like a shadow
I'll be beside you
I'll be your comfort
And let it guide you home
I will provide you a place of shelter
I want be your zone
Tell me what you wanted me to do
I'll make you great to be a man
With a woman who can stand
Who will never promise to leave her man
Making vows to please her man

If I could be your angel
Your angel,
Your angel
Protect you from the pain
I'll keep you safe from danger
You'll never hurt again
I'll be your a.n.g.e.l
I'm gona be your a.n.g.e.l
I'll be your angel

Just like the moon
I'll step beside
And let your sun shine
While I follow behind
Cause baby what ya got
It is with all the props
With everything I'm not
Tell me what to do
Tell me what you wanted me to do
I'll make you great to be a man
With a woman who can stand
Who will never promise to leave her man
Making vows to please her man

If I could be your angel
Your angel,
Your angel
Protect you from the pain
I'll keep you safe from danger
You'll never hurt again
I'll be your a.n.g.e.l
I'm gona be your a.n.g.e.l
I'll be your angel

Tell me why there's so many good men
And the world's misunderstood
He's a dog, he's no good
I wish somebody would
Disrespect my man
You're gona have to come see me
I go hard for my baby
He's all that I need

So if you got a good one
Put your hands up
Come on girl and stand up
Go ahead lift your man up
Get up
If you got a good one, put your hands up
Go ahead lift your man up
Get upIf you got a good one, stand up
Come on girl, and stand up

If I could be your angel
Your angel,
Your angel
Protect you from the pain
I'll keep you safe from danger
You'll never hurt again
I'll be your a.n.g.e.l
I'm gona be your a.n.g.e.l
I'll be your angel

Just Stand Up

The heart is stronger than you think,
It’s like it can go through anything.
And even when you think it can’t it finds a way to still push on, though
Sometimes you want to run away,
Ain’t got the patience for the pain
And if you don’t believe it look into, your heart the beat goes on
I’m tellin’ you that,
Things get better,
Through whatever
If you fall, dust it off, don’t let up.
Don’t you know you can go be your own miracle
You need to know

CHORUS : If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough,
But the heart keeps telling you don’t give up
Who are we to be..questioning, wondering what is what
Don’t give up…
THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP!

It’s like we all have better days
Problems getting all up in your face
Just because you go through it
Don’t mean it got to take control, no
You ain’t gotta find no hiding place
Because the heart can beat the hate
Don’t wanna let your mind keep playin’ you
And sayin’ you can’t go on
I’m tellin’ you that
Things get better
Through whatever
If you fall
Dust if off, don’t let up
Don’t you know you
Can go
Be your own
Miracle
You need to know

CHORUS

You don’t gotta be a prisoner in your mind
If you fall, dust it off
You can live your life
Yeah
Let your heart be your guide
Yeah yeah yeah
And you will know that you’re good if you trust in the good
Everything will be alright, yeah
Light up the dark, if you follow your heart
And it will get better
Through whatever
You got it in you, find it within
You got in now, find it within now
You got in you, find it within
You got in now, find it within now
You got in you, find it within
Find it within you, find it within
THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP!

2008-12-02T13:26:00.005+08:00

Ferst and foremost, juz wanna thank all da sweet wishes from everyone..
Most importantly, my guys who has never failed to be der for me..
I lurve u guys from da bottom of my hart.. =(
Thanks for making dis bday very memorable..
Even though silly Kaikin was dying to let me noe da surprise..
Hehehe..
No matter wat, i lurve my silly Kaikin..
Da sweet surprises came wen i least expected it..
Thanks to Nizar and Sufyan too for remembering..
I miss u guys terribly..

Thanks to Su, Salleh, Shahreel, Qay and Shahrizal (B) and Kak Sam and Azlan for flooding my handphone at da stroke of midnight.. =p
Thanks to Huang Jie for da bday song.. LOL!
Most of all, my grandmother who called me and wished me happy birthday.. =")
Dis was a very memorable birthday dat i will never forget.. =)
Not for da gifts, but for da thought dat u all remembered.. =")
And da most importantly, my family.. =)

Thank you..

Courtesy of my Lao Gong.. =)

Lao Gong's gift.. SR's gift..

Ibrahim, Greg, Ali, Kaikin and Hanxiang's swit surprise.. =)

A surprise bday cake sent to my house.. =)

=)

Thank you guys for making dis day special for me.... I luve u all.. =)

2008-11-27T20:26:00.007+08:00

My number tag for Shotputt..

My number tag for Discus...

Well, today was a fruitful day i guess..
At least now i have 2 silvers for field events..
Both a reali big finish for me..
Screw up all da 1st 3 tries, but i manage to catch up on da last throw..
And Shahreel made a very funny comment..
He said dat he din expect dat i could run..

Blardy hell..

He put me in da relays, and he said dat to me.. Haha..
Nw juz need to prepare for da finals for da relay events..
Keeping my fingers crossed dat i can run.. LOL

Yest met up wit my gerls after God noes how long..
Those present;

Aidah,
Aisha,
Azura,
Dayah,
Jannah,
and Ah Noi.. (Azura's cuzz) =)

Met up at Somerset and went to Sakura for dinner..
We totally went ballistic coz we were like sweeping all da food der..
Irregardless whether we noe wat da hell it was..
Our table was literally covered wit plates and plates of food.. =p

It was a guilt trip coz most of my gerls were on a diet..
*Including yours truly.. Ehem ehem..*
They were still da same lovable, crazy, fun and sweet darlings i knew way back..
After all dat food, gosh, all of us were feeling bloated..
So we kinda walked it off and along da way, snap some shots..
Juz sitting down, talking crap.. =)
Miss it so much.. =(
They definitely have matured a whole lot..
And i am definitely looking forward to spending more time wit dem..
I reali miss having my gerls by my side..
Once in a while, i juz nid dem to run to..
They will never judge me but they help me become a better person..
I reali muz apologize to dem for not spending enuf time together..
Becoz at da end of da day, they are da ones dat truly care for me..
I lurve u gerls a whole lot... =))

2008-11-21T17:34:00.001+08:00

2008-11-21T16:47:00.003+08:00

Found an interesting pic.. *Kin and i wud noe best..

The incident along Middle Road..

Randomness........

Spokespersons for CAREbear... =)

Target Locked and Ready.. *Vincent will kill me for posting dis up.. LOL!!!

Notti Kai Kin.. LOL!! =p

2008-11-21T16:34:00.002+08:00

I realize sumtimes in life, no matter how many frens u have, u wil still walk alone..

Every individual has to go tru dat and it usually comes when u least expect it..

It hurts..

I will not deny dat, however, it's up to urself on how u overcome dat..

It comes to a point where u feel like giving up on everything..

U feel as if the burdens on ur shoulder are juz too unforgiving..

And no matter how u try to lighten it by opening up to ur loved ones, it's still ur burden to carry..

U feel like the answers u seek are like da bubbles in da sea..

It's der, but u can never get hold of it..

I guess, life is made in such a way for people to truly appreciate it..

And everyday it throws new things at u..

Mayb, we shudn't get tired of life..

But to enjoy it every second as it is truly and really unpredictable..

2008-11-12T10:08:00.010+08:00

After so long, finally partner wit Vincent again yesterday..
And we had Soh Jin to tag along wit us..
Nice guy and easy to talk to..
Wish him all the best in BME and hope he gets into his dream department..
It was a hectic day coz we were running here and there..
But it was an accomplishment coz Vincent and Chye Hee had planend it for so long..
But i definitely had fun..Hahaha..
One things for sure, WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND..
Sumhow, my belief towards dis saying is now stronger den ever..
I won't say much about it but those close to me will undastand..
And my fortune-teller aka my FTO noes best.. *winkx*
Time flies so fast and now its already november..
I'm gonna turn 23!! I feel so old.. *sobz*..

Oh yeah, wen to JB wit a good fren of mine and we found A&W..
After so long, both of us were like small kids coz we were reali xcited..
However, the restaurant looks like its gonna go bankrupt soon..
Hahaha.. Even the staff looks so bored..
But the food still taste as good as ever..
And the funniest ting we saw at the end of da day.. Hahahaha..
It literally made me cracked up to da point dat everyone was staring..
Damn!! I noe i'm naughty.. =p

Oh well, gotta ask my guys whether they're interested to go.. =)
Dis month schedule kinda hectic though..
13th i've got the makan outing wit my team..
17th the farewell chalet..
18th my nephew's function..
24th i've got da sports thingy in the morning..
26th is the outing my my gerls..
Damn.. My list is booked..
Oh well, no matter wat, i'll try to squeeze in time for all those dat i love..

2008-10-27T22:22:00.004+08:00

After so long, why did you haf to msg me and flirt wit me like how we use to?
Its unfair coz i am trying so hard to leave the past behind..
I am trying to start my life anew and trying to open up my heart again..
It's juz unfair..
U found ur happiness in sumone else..
How about me? Wer does dat put me?
Its hard not to hate u, but its also hard to forget u..
Damn u for leaving such a huge hole in my heart..

Sumhow or rather, i'm finding happiness wit a particular sumone..
And i'm not ready to say who yet as i'm stil trying to seek the answer in my heart..
But his positive attitude is juz so refreshing.. =)
Its juz amazing how sumone can make u smile wit juz a simple msg..
Its nice coz he is able to make me fil so positive..
But den, i'm in a real dilemma..
I start to ignore others msges and calls..
Thinking dat tings might change..
However, its not and apparently, they stil care..
Mayb i can click wit dis particular sumone is becoz i met him first..
Hahaha..
And i chose to ignore him wen he made his move a year ago..
He was there during my attachment..
He was there during my 1st chase on Christmas Eve..
And he's da 1st to smile at me wen i came for attachment..
Gosh.. Well, enuf about "him".. =)

For now, i'm stil trying hard to come to terms wit da changes dat's going on..
Kin actuali express his concerns to me yesterday..
I reassured him that nobody wil come in between our frenship..
No matter how they try to break us apart, we wil kip dis frenship together..
We wil stick together tru thick and thin..
I noe deep down, people are trying to make us hate each other..
But no matter how, i noe how my frens werk..
We are the "Inter-Racial" circle of frens.. Hehehe..
U've got my back, and i've got urs..
I hope he can trust me on dis..
Haiz, cloudy days coming..
Gotta be mentally and physically prepared..
Til here...

2008-10-22T17:46:00.004+08:00

2008-10-22T16:25:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was a long day i muz say..
Bt definitely, we had fun during the Underwater World trip..
After so long, seeing my TL was reali refreshing..
And i realized how much a difference he made to our Team..
If oni our team wud haf been like last time..
Although it was a short trip, i tried to absorb all da warmth as much as possible..
Becoz i doubt its gonna last.. Haiz..
Seeing all those kids, made me envy them..
Although its a rough journey for dem, they live a simple life..
A simple mind, and there's no politics, no stress..
I felt dat although they can never xperience wat a normal life will be, they stil deserve all da attention in da world..
It was hard to say goodbye..
Bt nowadays, goodbye is inevitable for everyting..
Altough da team morale is down, the spirit of the seniors stil lives on in us..
Kin, Ali and me noe dat we haf to make sure, their presence wil always be felt..
And the respect they deserve wil always linger..
Its up to da few of us to make sure da team continues running..
And not give up becoz of some people who brought us down..
Haiz...

2008-10-12T14:00:00.006+08:00

It was like so long since i took my nephew out, juz da 2 of us..
So yesterday its juz like da 2 of us and we went to Science Centre..
Initial plan was da zoo however it started raining so din wan my nephew to get sick..
Science Centre turned out to be quite fun and we covered everything der..
He was running around and luffing and da both of us really had fun..

Spent a few hours der and off we went to fetch my mum from dialysis..
Overall, it was a fun and relaxing day and we reali bond..
I lurve my nephew loads no matter how notti he is.. Hehehe..

2008-10-07T22:13:00.002+08:00

Having great frens whom u werk with is a blessing..

We laugh together, cry together, curse together and even slack together..

Met up wit da guys for dinner before their shift today at IMM..

Initial plan was juz Vincent, Ali and me..

But Ali cudn't make it..

So thot it wud be juz Vincent and me.. *Romantic date!!* LOL!!!

But manage to rope in Greg..

Den Kin msg me saying he woke up late so he'll be joining.. LOL!!

Dis one another one itchy backside..

Greg came over to fetch me and lo and behold, Xiang was der too!!

So in da end der was 5 of us together at Banquet IMM..

Thank Goodness i had kin and vincent to help me finish my Fish and Chips..

Talked cock for a while den they left for werk leaving me alone.. Hehehehe

So wat else can a gerl do in a shopping mall???

Dat's right.. SHOPPING!!!

I spent my $80 wisely though.. Hehehe

Bought my mum a $69 rice cooker from Best Denki.. *CHEAP RIGHT???

And bought myself dis few items!! =)

My 2 fav buys of da day..

T-shirts from Esprit which i almost died for!!

Gorgeous!!!

And dis 2 T-shirts from Samuel & Kelvin..

Overall, it was a very worthwhile day spent.. Yeay!!

2008-10-05T22:58:00.001+08:00

glitter-graphics.com

2008-10-05T21:01:00.002+08:00

Hari Raya dis year has been reali reali good..

A lot of tings differ from previous years and i fil like dis is a reali special year..

My siblings are on good terms, minus da occasional frustrations..

Although my mum wasn't in da best of health, we managed to take her mind off it..

I thought i wud fil sucky dis year..

But surprisingly, i fil dis freedom which i haven felt in a long time..

Spent most of my time wit my family..

Truly blessed to be able to spend 1st and 2nd day of raya at home..

Thankx to all my colleagues and supervisors..

For dropping by my place although it was a long day for dem at werk..

Reali appreciate da gesture and i truly honour it..

An addition to all dat, i manage to spend raya wit a great team..

Not juz my team-mates, but they're my frens and my 2nd family away from home..

Today dropped by Dayah's house coz she was having an open house..

Miss her so damn much after so long of not meeting..

Gosh!! Since secondary up til now, our frenship is still going strong..

She's still as beautiful and cuddly as ever.. =)

Miss her warm and friendly family to the max..

But too bad Ana cudn't join us..

If not, it wud haf reali been a reunion among best frens..

My sisters.. =)

I had fun even though it was juz da 2 of us, and also her funny mum..

But den, sumting had to spoil my day..

Dis is life i gez..

Sweet and sour.. =)

2008-09-23T15:11:00.003+08:00

Its been a while since i feel like i reali appreciate my job..
Last nite shift was da most fun i had even though it was a tiring one..
It fils reali frustrating at da point of time however at da end of da day, its reali fun..
It all sinks in wen i'm sitting down and resting..
All da running and shouting and "wrestling", its so terribly fun..
True wat Vincent said, da "inner beast" comes out..
Even da strongest had to fite for survival at dat kind of situation..
But one werd defines it, FUN!!!
Reali gotta apologize to my guys for making dem so kanchiong..
I din reali manage to say out da location and thus causing so much confusion..
But reali thanks to my guys for da assistance..
Looking forward to more of dis.. =)
In da meantime, i'm trying to plan wat to do for my long leave..
Suddenly i fil so lost as to wat i can do during dis "break"..
Mayb can plan wit sum best frens for some getaway or sumting..
Or maybe can get my fitness back on track by hitting the gym..
Well, it's all gonna come to me wen da time comes..
Til here, chiaoz....

2008-09-13T13:55:00.004+08:00

2008-09-13T12:47:00.002+08:00

It's been 13 days into Ramadan..
Time seems to fly cause today marks da official day i came to Rochor..
Wow! 1 year in Rochor and i didn't even fil time passing by..
Learnt so much, met so many new people, gain new experiences and see many different tings..
Along da way i made such wonderful friends who are now my 2nd family..
Friends who have been there tru everything together..
Work-related, personal issues, and stupid moments.. =p
Although comes at times, we tend to get on each others nerves, its all worth it..
Had a minor glitch wit my partner during yest shift but at da end of da day, we stil made up..
Like wat vincent always say,
"At the end of da day, everyone returns safe and in one piece.."
But if i return without my pants, is it stil considered one piece or half?? LOL
Even though there are days where i literally drag myself to werk, i manage to get tru da day laughing and smiling..
And it's not because i'm a SIAO CHAR BOR!!
People come and go..
But memories will always stay..
And most of all, i miss my Hafizah.. =( *sobs
But Jannah, da new gerl, has been great..
Cool, laid-back and adorable at times.. =)
Well, at least der's another female in da team to torment da guys..
Hehehehe..
Well, we'll see how tings goes in da future..
Juz haf to pray for da better now and reali support each other tru harder times..

2008-09-07T14:55:00.002+08:00

It feels weird, looking at him is like looking tru a window..

What else can i say right..

Anyiwaez, i reali had fun wit my 4 Rochor Heavenly Kings..

Juz seeing da 4 of dem at one corner, cracking stupid jokes..

Truly gonna miss dem..

Oh yea... I haf found a new place dat i'm truly in love wit..

Gonna ask da guys der one day..

Can juz hang out and watch planes fly past us..

Nothing means more to me den having my guys around.. =)

Well, til here..

To my darlings, Selamat Berpuasa.. =)

2008-08-28T10:57:00.003+08:00

Time stood still wen i heard da news..
We juz said goodbye to our fellow team-mates..
And yet soon, we haf to say goodbye again..
I'm not going to argue much about the system, but its hard to say goodbye..
We have become not oni colleagues, but also a family..
They are like the big brothers dat look out for us..
Sure there haf been ups and downs..
But one ting that separates us from the others, is the bond we shared..
We shared laughter and hardship together..
We entertain each other to get us through a hard day..
They made my heart stop crying with their antics..
I have never been good in handling goodbyes..
I wished i could hug gab, han kiat and martin and never let go..
If there's oni one thing i cud say to dem..
I wud tell dem how much i treasure dem..
As a colleague, fren and also brothers..
I will definitely treasure watever remaining time we have werking together..
It will never be da same without dem around anymore..

="""(

2008-08-14T02:16:00.003+08:00

Life is BORING!!!! URGH!!!!

Give me sumting interesting..
Coz i feel like life is so stagnant..
Miss da days wen i feel so alive.. So excited.. So happy..
Is happy even a werd???
Argh!!!
Shoot me!!

2008-08-10T18:14:00.003+08:00

Without realizing it, time has passed so fast..
I don't know wat to type about becoz there's juz so much inside..
I tried using a good fren's advice to learn to open up my heart..
Right now, i can see how interesting it is wen i open up my heart..
Well, to put it n a much better term, open my mind..
Learning to think with my mind and not my heart..

Bachelor no.1:
A very interesting guy who reali reali makes me feel special..
Unique and reali sweet in his own way..
Brutally honest i must say.. =p
But i must admit, a guy who calls me "Baby", "Sweetheart", "Honey" is a bit hard to swallow..
Hahaha..
It's different though i must admit..
He can make me smile even though da day sucked..
But da dilemma i'm facing, he asked whether he can be allowed to love me..
Whether he can haf a little place in my heart..
And be there by my side through thick and thin..
*GULP!!*

Bachelor no.2:
I have a slight crush on dis guy..
Still in the process of knowing him better..
But juz seeing him can make me smile..
=)
To be continued.........

Bachelor no.3:
I treat him as a brother and nothing more..
But as days goes by, his determination seems to grow..
He confessed his feelings grows as days goes by..
To the point wer he gets too over-protective..
No matter how i push him away, he never gives up..
I've tried all da tings my frens taught me..
But da more i push him away, da harder he tries to be in my life..

And finally.....
the person dat has always been in my heart..

"Leave the past, no matter how painful it is...."

Words from a very good fren..
But it's reali hard..
Time will tell.. =(

2008-08-04T22:11:00.001+08:00

Chance or Choice

When we meet the right person to love, when we're at the right place at the right time, that's chance.

When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's not a choice.

That's chance.

Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of couples who get together because of this) is not a choice.

That's also a chance.
The difference is what happens afterwards.

When will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level?

That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate whether you want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.

If you decide to love a person, even with his faults, that's not a chance.

That's choice.
When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, that's choice.

Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, and richer than your mate, and yet, you decide to love your mate just the same, that's choice.

Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance.

But true love that lasts is truly a choice.

A choice that we make.

Regarding soul mates, there's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so true about this:

Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen.

I do believe that soul mates do exist.

That there is truly someone made for you.

But it's still up to you to make the choice if you're going to do something about it or not.

We may meet our soul mates by chance, but loving and staying with our soul mate is still a choice we have to make.

We came to the world not by finding someone perfect to love...

BUT to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly..

2008-08-04T19:31:00.005+08:00

Yours Truly...

ALL MINE!!!

Before da food...

After da food...

Crazy Kin and me... =)

A proper foto.. =)

Dis few days haf been reali taxing on my team..

We are reali stretched to the max and for me, it's a reali challenging period..

I felt bad for being so rude to vincent wen we talked about my leave..

But my mind is trying so hard to digest so many tings dat is going on..

I never stopped tinking about him..

I realised dat no matter wat, i stil care.. Stupid huh??
I'm reali pathetic at times.. I must admit..

But its not dat easy to let go..

Mayb time will tell..

Anyway, SR is attached to my team for a whole month..

All i wan is for tings to carry on as per normal..

Sumtimes wen my guys tease me about him, i get reali upset..

But i can't juz snap at dem..

They're juz being, well, dem..

The guys dat i knew and loved and care about..

They wud never let anyone hurt or upset me..

But at times, i reali feel a bit upset at the teasings..

Juz gotta hold my cool and not be like last time..

I can feel dat i've changed over dis few months and i'm more matured..

But all dis, i know comes wit da times and da xperiences dat i go tru each day..

Da last hurdle for da year has cleared..

My ippt is finally over and done wit..

I kinda improved on the other stations.. Weird..

But my 2.4, OH MY GOSH!!!!

Terrible is not even the right word for it..

Disastrous mayb.. Hahaha

Thank God i had vincent to push me tru da last lap..

Urgh!! Reali gotta start training hard again..

But oh well, it's over..

Now, juz gotta brace myself for a long month..

Thankx to my guys for da late nite makan session..

Love u guys to da core!! =)

2008-07-25T13:31:00.005+08:00

Although TL is gone, he wil always be the best supervisor i have ever worked with..
I will always miss his teasing and his welfare towards his men..
Where ever life takes u sir, i wish u all the best..
No word of thanks can ever express my gratitude..

Having breakfast with my guys is sumting i always look forward to..

Just hearing their lame jokes, their grumblings, is enuf to make me forgt the unhappiness that is going on in my life..

Everyday at werk, they make me smile wit their nonsense..

What more can i ask for? =))

Nothing in life comes easy..

"Never think more about the past,"

it brings tears..

Don't think more about the future,

it brings fears.

Live this second,

"it brings cheers."

=))

2008-07-22T10:31:00.009+08:00

It was a hectic Monday yesterday..
Pity my partner, Abg Ishak coz he wasn't feeling well..
Think he's also tired due to the collapse shift..
(Or is it maybe age is catching up???) Hehehehe
Anyways, now i undastand why Abg Aziz always gets mad wen sum things are left undone..
As supervisors, they haf a lot to answer for their own men..
Everyday is a learning process..
It was also a reali wet Monday coz it was raining almost the entire day..
Juz drizzling but stil, its da kind of weather where getting out of da car is a drag..

Somehow, i felt like more could be done..
But seriously, wen fatigue sets in, ur mind becomes confused..
Think i wanna get my physical back on track..
After da competition, i barely ran..
Hahaha..
I hate running!! (But nt wen sumone is running in front of me) *winkz
But still, i wanna get my physical back..
I stil haf a bet with sumone and da bet is to keep in shape..
And prove the theory wrong..
U messed with the wrong person Shareel.. Hehehehehe

* *

** **

*** ***

**** ****

***** *****

****** *******

******** ********

♥********* ♥ *********♥

******** ********

******* *******

****** ******

***** *****

**** ****

*** ***

** **

* *

I had a weird dream yesterday..

I dreamt i walked away from him and dat gerl..

Am i finally taking a step to setting myself free?

2008-07-19T11:05:00.006+08:00

Finally he got my msg and i reali hope he understands dis time..

I juz feel like with my commitment to my family and my werk now, having a r'ship is a big NO NO..

I'm happy with my job and although not many people know wat we go tru, at the end of da day i stil feel contented with wat i do..

I have a bad feeling difficult days are gonna come once TL leaves..

With all the major duties, having time to recuperate is hard..

At times i do feel tired, and i juz wanna stop and question my purpose..

But, having the guys in my team around, it gives me da drive..

I ask myself everyday whether this was da right direction for me..

I do doubt myself becoz i feel, i'm not competent enough to carry out my job..

It's not easy being a male dominated organization..

It's reali reali difficult but i always tell myself, i wan to do it..

But with all da issues dat is running tru my head, i feel like its too much at times..

Why is it so hard dis time?

**************

*************

************

***********

**********

*********

********

*******

******

*****

****

***

**************
*************
************
***********
**********
*********
********
*******
******
*****
****
***
**
*

I reali cant forget about you..

Forgive me for still loving you..

2008-07-15T13:05:00.002+08:00

Well finally PSK is over..

I had to make a painful decision if i ever wan to stop thinking about him..

I continue with silat for my nephew..

Now dat he's gonna be in NS soon, its time i take a step down..

Its hard but i know that i haf my guys to support me all da way tru..

Now my main priority is work and i'm gonna make sure i reali prove myself..

Maybe this is da oni way i can forget about him and let him move on..

He may no longer remembers or even cares who i am..

But one things for sure, memories are not easily erased..

The bittersweet memories wil forever be a part of me..

I wil surely remember everything no matter how bad it may seem..

But most impt, i haf to be strong now..

Much more stronger den i ever haf to be in my life..

I accept this as a test from Allah SWT..

As how i've been tested before, i'll face dis one head on..

I will get tru dis for sure..

2008-07-08T11:57:00.003+08:00

After a smooth quarter-finals game, it happened..
I lost in da semi-finals...
I got disqualified..
Haiz...
I not oni disappointed myself, but i let da whole team down..
And worse was, i sobbed like a lost child..
I juz felt so disappointed..
Imagine waiting for 6-7 hours..
Only to get disqualified in less den a minute in da first round..
And to add salt to the wound, i injured my opponent so badly..
The look i saw on Kak Nurul and "his" face..
It was heart-wrenching..
"He" was reali pissed with the juries, but wat can we do?
I take it all in but it juz hurt knowing dat i wasn't able to fight my best..
After my first game, yes i was injured but i wanted to kept going..
After da game, i can hear people saying words of encouragement..
But at dat point of time, all dat juz didn't go in..
Thankfully my sis was there to hug me and hold me..
I would haf lost it..
It wasn't suppose to go dat way.. Haiz....
To "u", i'm reali grateful dat u willingly became my cornerman..
I was surprised but it made me felt stronger..
Thank u..
But i'm reali sorry for losing da way i did..
Haiz...
Wat done is done...
Lets leave the past as dat..

I miss u so much it hurts juz looking at u...
How i wish i could still haf u by my side..
No matter wat dear, u will always be in my heart..
I may not be able to say it to u..
But if only u knew..
How much i love you...
Haiz........

2008-07-02T16:52:00.003+08:00

I found da much needed strength dat i haf been waiting for..
Although its not reali in a most positive light, but i feel stronger now..
SR said dis was da 2 stage and its starting to scare me..
But i am able to block out all da thoughts dat haf been dancing in my mind..
Confusing me and da illusion dat it brings along wit it..
I am able to look at it in a different way..
A negative way dat is..
But i feel much more lighter..
Its as if i am able to drop da xtra baggage dat i carry around..
I believe that wateva goes around, comes around..
"U" did dis not once, but twice..
U wil feel double da pain of wat we felt..
U'll see..
My prayers are wit u..
I know ur strength and i also know ur weaknesses..
I juz hope u wil try and be strong if the day comes,
where u feel wat we feel..
As a friend, i wudn't wan anyting bad to happen to u coz i care..
But u hurt da oni friend dat has ever reali cared about u..
All da best to u my fren..

2008-07-01T14:04:00.004+08:00

Yesterday movie was ok i gez...
Not as good as Ironman but well, we had a few laughter..
It was fun juz hanging out wit dem outside of werk..
Well, not much difference during and after werk coz we're stil da crazy bunch of people..
Hahaha..
But pity Ali coz he parked his car at Suntec wen our movie location was supposed to be Marina Square..
And he parked at the Monkey Lot..
Ironic isn't it?
Hehehehe..
Couldn't join dem for supper due to some unforseen circumstances.. =p
Well, let's juz leave it up to dat..
Reached home around 1 i think..
Thanks SR for the lift home..
Reali awfully sweet of him to fetch me all da way from ecp and drop me home..
Hmm.. And da good nite msg from him..
"I'll watch over u no matter wat.."
Oh mann.. Im so not ready for dis..
Nvm..

Talking bout yesterday's outing..
Everyone had a colour team sia!! Unexpected!!
So i'm like da odd one out..
Everyone wore either black or white, but oni me and Gani dat is wore green..
Well, at least sumone wore same colour as me.. Hehe..
To say da least, da movie was lame.. But funny..
Overall, we had fun as usual..
Maybe next outing, instead of a movie, we change to sumting else..
Til here... Chiaoz!!

2008-06-30T02:40:00.001+08:00

~~I dont wanna hate u but u wan me to..~~

2008-06-30T01:21:00.005+08:00

I reali gotta thank my guys for keeping me happy..
For werking so hard to make me smile..
For never leaving me alone and making sure dat i never shed tears..
My team is more den juz frens, colleauges..
They are now my family also..
I am loving dem more each and every single day..
I haf my

gossip buddy,

my singing buddy,

my makan buddy,

my smoking buddy..
I haf my big brothers who always look out for me..
I haf my father like figure who always try his hardest to make tings easier..
I haf my lil brothers who kips me sane with their constant teasing..
Although im stil hurting inside, i am learning to put on a brave front..
People wont see how my tears threaten to spill out every second..
But i wil try my hardest to make those i care about around me smile no matter wat..
Thanks to my own family who has cared and loved me no matter wat mistakes i made..
I can fil my insides tearing apart but somehow......
I am surrounded by so many people dat is holding it together with their love, care and concern..
A fren dat looks out for me even though we dont werk together on da ground..
Thank u..
For helping me tru dis ordeal..
Im still learning to pick myself up..
Bit by bit..
But i know where my direction in life is..
And with frens dat sit by ur side,
enjoying a drink and staring out into the sea,
who is willing to walk by ur side,
or stand in a dirty back alley,
or juz driving u home,
or eevn while patrolling together,
listening to ur pathetic life story,
letting u cry ur eyes out no matter how ugly it looks like,
offers u a shoulder and a hand to hold on to,
life has been fair to me...
I can safely say, i haf more den juz frens...
I haf my guardian angels..
Thank u guys..
For being der..
And although im da only female in da team, u guys haf never left me out..
I haf been pampered, loved, cared and also, showered with ur care and concern..
I haf been well taken care of by everyone..
Although i had to sacrifice my love, my time, for my job,
It gave me a new family..
Team Charlie..
From da bottom of my heart, i Love u Guys...

2008-06-23T17:41:00.006+08:00

~~What goes around comes around..~~
Its ironic..
What happened to me now, happened to another gerl 5 years ago..
Done by the same asshole also..
Hope you're happy wit ur new victim now..
I wont be surprised if you do the same ting to her..

Because right now, u haf hurt the person that haf slaved like a dog for u..
The person dat worshipped you no matter wat people say..
The person dat sacrificed everyting juz to be wit you..
The person dat loved you wit every ounce of energy she had..
Now i know wat kind of a person you are..

You will always be a good for nothing ********* that sticks under every piece of ***that pities you and cares about you..
I was dat ass and i'm glad now i can wipe out the *********** dat has been ****** up my whole life..
Trust me, u wil see how it feels to be me now..
What goes around, comes around..
And it will hit you in da face when u least expect it..
I wont say i hate you, but now i can say, i despise you..
Continue living the pathetic way of life you are living..

I cant believe i trusted the words that came out of your mouth all this years..
I cant believe i actuali took pity on you when you cried..
I cant believe i stood by your side through all the crap..
I cant believe i shut everyone out for you..

You will see who was the one dat reali cared about you..

2008-06-21T13:24:00.001+08:00

Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?

"Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said,

"And you never will, but that's O.K.".......

Later the little boy asked his father,

"Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?".

"All women cry for no reason," was all his Dad could say......

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked

"God, why do women cry so easily?"

GOD answered......

"When I made woman, I decided she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...

I gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times will come even from her own children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without complaining....

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances.

Even when her child has hurt her badly....

She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....

I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....

For all of this hard work, I also gave her a tear to shed.

It is hers to use whenever needed and ! it is her only weakness....

When you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.

She is special!

Love Your Mother Always And Keep Her Smiling..

2008-06-21T10:08:00.004+08:00

I was da last to noe and i was also shocked most of dem were already talking about dis way before i came back..
For now, my main concern is IPPT on monday and my upcoming fights..
Dis year is gonna be a hard fight for me becoz der is a total of nine fighters in my category..
Well, every year is a hard fight for me..
Interesting question by sumone though..
He asked me whether i'm interedted in becoming a Unit Fitness Trainer..
Well, dis time, u reali gotta go tru da proper channels.. Hahahaha
But of all people, WHY ME???
Gosh!! I can barely make it tru my 2.4.. Hahahaha

1. I hate cockroaches!! EEEWWWW!!!!!
2. I hate running..
3. I hate liars..
4. I hate hypocrites..
5. I hate suck-ups..

But dis option is worth considering rite? Hmmmm
I juz gotta wait and see how tings goes for me..
Coz right now, i love being wer i am..
My guys takes care of me and they help me a lot..
Hmmm.. But one tings for sure, dis is not permanent..
Til da day comes, i'm gonna enjoy every waking moment juz being der wit dem..
Argh.. Stress.. IPPT coming and i stil can't run..
I mean, i'm lazy to run.. Hahahaha..
K k.. I'll hit da gym later before werk to train up.. *Yeah Rite!!
Til here.. Chiaoz..

2008-06-20T00:24:00.003+08:00

Why is da pain getting worse as day goes by?
Why do i see ur face every single second of my day?
Why do u run tru my mind every second?
Now i learnt da painful truth, its juz worse..
No matter wat, i stil love u..
I'll be happy for u and ur new found partner..
No matter how it hurts..
Boy, u'll never see how my heart bleed..

2008-06-03T16:08:00.002+08:00

I was utterly shocked by his words..
I have never felt so insulted in my whole life..
Cried my eyes out since i got home from werk last night..
I hate how my life is turning out right now..
I juz wanna let dis all out..
Ya Allah.......... Help me......... =(

2008-06-01T18:34:00.002+08:00

Werk was tiring yesterday til i practically went home wit my eyes half closed..
Gez its da lack of sleep due to some disturbance.. *thankx to sumbody =p
Aniwaez........ I tink SR noticed dat i'm kinda putting distance between us..
He asked me whether he had said or done anyting wrong..
Hmmm.. I felt bad coz he said it upset him quite a bit..
But its da best coz i dont wan tings to go too far..
It's reali awkward coz i haf to face him at werk all da time..
He's a reali sweet guy but i dont like to get too close to guy's who are attached..
Well, wat i mean is if they haf other intentions..
Basically, my heart is only for one person..
Even if i am able to get over him, it wil be sum time..
It's reali hard coz everytime after i finish my tour, my mind juz wanders off to him..
Even passing by the places we used to frequent, makes me cry..
I miss him so terribly but i know now he's much more happier..
Dis emotions are eating me up inside so badly..
Somehow, i'm happy to be in dis line..
But, it made me wonder whether dis is a sacrifice i had to make in order to achieve my dreams..
I juz miss having sumone who reali cares and love me for who i am..
It took so much pain and hardship to be together..
But we couldn't make it last til da end..
Til now, i was hoping it was all juz a bad dream..
But apparently, i'm not waking up from it..
I need da strength..
But i've lost it, wen i lost him..... :(

2008-05-29T19:08:00.002+08:00

The moment i opened the box of cakes, sumting hit me so bad i can feel my eyes getting teary..
There it was, the cake that brought back beautiful memories..
The cake that "he" had promised to buy for my birthday..
The cake that we shared together on a lot of occasions..
Why is it, that the one i'm hoping for no longer gives a damn about me..
But the ones that i dont hope for, is always der..
To "u", no matter wat, no one can take ur place..
I noe that u already haf sumone new and u no longer need me..
Bt i wil always be here to catch u wen u fall..
No matter how, wer or wen, if u need sumbody, i will always be there for u..
Call me dumb, call me stupid..
Bt u are the oni person who makes me strong and weak at the same time..
U made me feel like life is beautiful and worth everyting..
U made me feel like nothing is impossible..
For that, i wil always love and cherish u..
Mayb one day, memories of us wil fade away from ur mind..
Bt for now, we'll juz learn to find our own paths in life..
One tings for sure, u wil always be part of me..
Ur love means a lot to me..
And i miss it so much..
I'll pray for u in wateva u do my dear.. =(

2008-05-28T19:48:00.002+08:00

I'm supposed to werk the nite shift today bt well, i gotta clear my leave..
Reali glad to haf a cool and reasonable team leader..
Well, juz changed my blogskins since i haf no idea wat to do..
Refreshing huh.. :)
My gerlfrens are like calling me non-stop coz its been a while since we met up..
Bt da lazy bug has bitten me and i juz wanna slack around at home..
Missing my team now.. Hahaha..
Well, nite shifts are my favorite.. :)
Til here..
CHiaoz...

2008-05-21T11:19:00.004+08:00

Here i am typing away like an idiot wen i'm suppose to be sleeping now..
Gosh!! Hospitals are reali slow mann!!
Bt im nt as xhausted coz yesterday nite was superb..
Well, coz we were not so busy running around..
Did i ever say how much i love my guys?? Gosh!!
Thankx for the medicated oil in my mouth..
At least now i know how it tastes like!!
Ninaoya!!!

Was surfing tru STOMP and saw da fotos of da murdered cats..
I actuali cried juz looking at da fotos..
Even my mum was horrified by it..
Whoever dat person is, he wil get his retribution..
Killing an innocent animal so brutally like dat..
Juz hope he doesn't cross my path..
Damn U!!!!

And da painful ting to read about nowadays in da paper is the earthquake and cyclone disaster..
Gosh!!
Reading about it is painful enuf to digest..
Imagine being der, amidst the chaos and the anguish lingering in the air..
The amount of tears shed by those who have lost their dear ones..
My heart goes out to them..

The article about the officer who dug out his own father underneath the rubble..
Carrying the body and crying..
Apologizing for nt being able to be there due to the call of duty..
It is heart-wrenching..
The pain and regret wil stay forever..
Sumone who has to be the leader of not oni his family, but also a whole troop..
He had the responsibility of the leader who had to lead his men to save those trapped..
It was a heavy burden he had to shoulder..
Saving others bt nt his loved ones..
Sumtimes, the uniform that is don feels more like an iron vest..
Its heavy nt oni becoz of the responsibilities, but also the sacrifice that comes with it..

My prayers goes out to both the victims and those that haf passed..
May they rest in peace..
They wil be remembered and cherished..

Til here..

2008-05-14T10:12:00.003+08:00

The inside of the Railway Station..

My Mum... =)

Anis.. My nephew.. =)

Irfan.. General View..

Irfan, close-up view.. The notti boy.. =)

Mother's Day was spent in a rather simple way but at least my mum got to eat wat she wanted..
Went wit Anis, Irfan, my mum and bibik to KTM coz i heard the seafood and satay there was nice..
It was after my course so i was a bit shagged..
But seeing the looks on my mum's face makes the day worth it..
We ordered loads and loads of food and it was all very nice..
But we kinda finished it, i tink.. Hahaha
After eating, my sis came and fetched us and of all places, we went to Mustafa..
And again, they wanted to eat at the nearby restaurant there..
Urgh!! So anis and i went in to walk aound a bit..
Hahaha.. And i bought the classic Tetris game..
Anyway, Anis and i almost went nuts in Mustafa coz there were so many stuff we wanted..
And its like everyting we cud tink of is sold there!!!
Truth be told, i've never bothered to walk around Mustafa..
It's juz too crowded at times..
But it was worth it..
Went home about 2 in the morning..
It was fun hanging out wit my family for once..
Refreshing and i miss it too..
Well, til here, chiaoz...

2008-05-14T09:56:00.003+08:00

Finally my 2 day course at HTA is over..
Had loads of fun with the company i had..
Met new people from Echo Div who is loads of fun..
Was reali bored furing the lesson itself but sumhow or rather, we found ways to entertain ourselves..
One such way is by JUNK FOOD!!!!!!
Well, the supplier is none other than Yours Truly..
Think if the course is longer, confirm we'll all go back wit that little xtra weight..
But certainly will miss them coz its so fun..
Esp Fazli who sat beside me tru the whole 2 days..
Such a sweethart.. Hahahaha...
My joke cum paper MSN partner..
Well, let da photos do the talking.. =)

Yours Truly......

With my fav snack... =)

Fazli, my fav Echo boy.. =)

Tasha, my fav Echo gerl.. =)

Aisha, my swithart from Alpha.. Miss SQB.. Hehehe. =)

ALL MINE!!! =)

ALL MINE also.... =)

Da boring lesson.... *Yawnz......

My messed up table...

All in all, i reali enjoyed the 2 days spent at HTA..
Brings back old memories bt too bad my OC was too busy..
Well, next time maybe.. =)

2008-05-06T18:19:00.004+08:00

Ok.. I was reali bored today during in-service..
But being der itself, meeting up wit familiar faces, it was the ONLY enjoyable part..
Lately have not been myself and it sucks..

Had a confusing talk with "him" last night..
Haiz..
He juz wans sumone to talk to.. That's it..
Gosh.. Even if i do meet sumone, i am stil stuck in my dilemma..
Argh! Fark it..
Juz dont feel like talking about anyting anymore..

Juz shoot me!
I love Kat Deluna!!!!!

2008-05-05T18:44:00.002+08:00

I have to reali learn how to partially shut the human emotions that overwhelms me wen i'm in uniform..
Two incidents yesterday almost made me cry..
The feeling was horrible coz i cant contribute much..
I juz had to do my JOB..
Seeing tru da eyes of a civilian and an officer, it's totally different..
We have to deal wit death, separation, dilemma much more den others..
Thanks to Vincent, who is always der for me since day one..
Seeing how sick i felt, he asked me to rest in da car for a minute or two..
Like wat "he" said, i have to learn to be stronger..
Thanks to "him" who is always der for me no matter wat..
Knowing i needed a hug or juz a listening ear..
How can i ever forget you..
No matter wat, u wil always be the one i run to..

2008-05-02T21:05:00.007+08:00

Last night shift was reali draining mann..
Gosh.. Hanxiang ended up with a swollen ankle after he fell..
For me, a swollen right hand..
But thank goodness its getting better..
Our patience was reali put to the test that night..
Vincent and i were literally trying to kip each other grounded..
Wat happened dat night was almost similar to my dream..
Weird!!
There were not enuf res to go around..
But i'm glad i had a great partner who trust me even though im juz a female..
I could have not asked for the best partner for dat horrendous night.. =)
Kaikin and Ali were on leave so i gez they missed the "fun"..
But im sure, we have worse days yet to come.. Hahaha
-
-
-
After werk, went straight home coz i noe my legs are screaming for mercy..
Din get da much needed rest coz of some stuff.. As usual..
After dat, got ready for the movie date with my team.. =)
-

-
We watched IronMan at Vivo and i was glad i went..
Total there were about 17 of us and it was so much fun.. =)
I would give the movie seriously 9.5/10..
It was so cool and i din tink i wud enjoy dis kind of movie so much..
Power power!! Hehehe
After movie, most of dem went off.. Soooooooooooo...............
There were oni a few of us left..
TL, Shahir, Vincent Kikin, Shahir, Ali and Hanxiang..
Thot of going home but juz tag along wit the guys..
So met up wit Martin and Simon at The Coffee Club beside California Fitness..
Nice place to juz chill and hang out..
-
-
-
I juz realized that wat people say is true..
For us uniformed officers, we stil talk about werk even after werk!!
We juz chat for hours about the nite shift..
Loads of laughter from the guys and i enjoyed their company so muchie.. =)
Left around 3 and headed home with kikin, ali and hanxiang..
The rest stayed around til 3.30 from wat vincent told me..

-
-
-
Haiz..
All dis are gonna be fond memories if ever any of us leave the team..
Til here.. Chiaoz!! =))

2008-04-30T12:00:00.002+08:00

Oh my gosh!! The weather yesterday was hell!!
I can feel my uniform sticking to my body coz of the sweat..
Haha.. Like wat ouyang and i agreed on..
We both can feel our underwear sticking to our ass..
Hahahaha!! Damn u!!
Werk is fun wen u haf a great partner that can entertain ur nonsense..
And i can say that my whole team is full of nonsensical people.. =)
Guess mayb yest was nt like usual..
It was quite busy for everyone on the ground..
But at the end of the day, it was not as bad..
Coz there was no last minute msges that delay anyone..

After werk we went to disturb Vincent for a while..
Hehehe..
He actuali chased us away! Hmph!!
I was reali xhausted and sore last nite due to the training i had da night before..
But stil managed to have a late Mac'D session with my guys..
No matter how bad my day was, i haf dem to look forward to..
And i'm reali glad about dat.. =)
So it was juz da four of us hanging out at West Coast Mac'D..
Kikin, Ali, Xiang and me..
We always have a lot to talk about.. Or shud i say bitch about..
Had loads of laughter wen i'm around dem..
After all dat, went home, and my mind juz drift off to him..
Haiz..

If it is reali over, why did u kiss my hand dat night?
Why do u still wan to hold me in ur arms?
And why do u stil make me believe in our love?
Sumone, give me an answer.. =(

2008-04-28T16:22:00.003+08:00

Ok, i'm freaking guilty for not updating for god noes how long..

Damn it..

Well, loads of tings haf happened and im questioning my purpose of being in dis line..

Well, its better off i try to get past dis feelings..

It's been a rather hectic week i must say..

With hafizah no longer in da team, i fil like ive lost a part of me.. :(

Miss her nonsense and weird sense of humour..

Glad to see her during last outing wit da team though..

Hehehe.. Stil same ol' silly hafizah.. :)

Reali gotta thank all my guys in da team for helping me a lot..

Always there weneva i'm down and out and making me smile..

Well, many tings haf happened in da team..

Be it good or bad, i shall not mention..

Looking forward for the next outing wit my guys..

Ooops, correction, "crazy" guys.. Hahahaha

Til here.. Right now my mind is kinda blank..

Chiaoz!!

2008-04-03T11:06:00.002+08:00

Its been a hectic few months at werk recently..
But i'm enjoying every minute spent with my team..
I could have never asked for more from them..
They are absolutely the best team any gerl could ask for..
We went tru more thick and thin dis past few months together..
I can reali see now the bond that we have..
I am thankful that i wake up everyday and being able to work with this bunch of guys..
Hahaha.. As wat TL said, bunch of monkeys..
True enuf, we get on each other's nerves..
To the point of almost xploding..
But there comes a time where all dat seems nothing when we need each other..
There are love and hate in da team but one tings for sure,
we will always be there for each other no matter wat..
For that, i'm reali thankful and blessed..

2008-03-19T19:49:00.003+08:00

I dont noe why da memories of him keep flooding back..
I miss da times we had and da love i felt from him..
I stil cry whenever he appears in my thots..
I stil see him whenever i close my eyes..
I reali haf to let go but i don't noe how..
I juz wanna close my heart and lock it tight..
Ya Allah, give me the strength to keep me sane and strong..

2008-03-15T20:19:00.003+08:00

I feel i've reached a point in my life where i've given up on love..

I'm tired and i noe that love only brings more pain..

Reading those words by him, made me cry..

I thot i've moved on but i realized that i have not..

I feel like there's a wall building around my heart..

The solitude it gives me, is calming..

Knowing that no one wil ever come in and hurt it again..

Makes me happy..

Call me crazy, call me stupid, people can even call me picky..

Truth is, i'm tired..

Tired of da games that comes with loving sumone too much..

I've had enuf..

2008-03-05T11:29:00.002+08:00

We receieved a good news yest from HOTS..
Well, nt reali a good news but we were glad it came..
Hehehe.. Da freaking comp will be postponed..
I can see dat sum faces of my fellow team-mates juz lite up..
I mean, we were nt reali ready for da comp so dis came as a surprise..
So i'm gonna be back at team tonite.. YAHOO!!
Been a while since i been back and its certainly a breathe of fresh air..
Gonna miss sum of the nonsense from da comp team though..
Oh well..

Recently, i've been getting reali weird feelings..
I dont noe wat it is and i'm stil tryin to decipher the meaning..
I guess, wat Vincent said to me has sum wat created dis whirlpool of emotions..
Haiz..
I tink its time to move on..
All dat aside, i can't wait to start werk tonite..
Rochor, i miss ya!!!!

2008-03-02T11:29:00.002+08:00

I'm getting so sick and tired of all da extra axtivities dat is going on..
Its taking a toll on my health and mind..
I'm putting my foot down and i'm gonna tell my TL dat i dont wanna participate in any activities..
At least for da time baing..
I'm juz reali reali tired mann.. GOD!!
And i'm missing my team so much.. Haiz..

And talking about miss, i miss my Mangkokman..
I juz miss him so much..
Juz thinking about him still brings a smile to my face..
I wonder how he's doing..
But i'm sure, he is stil da happy go lucky guy..
No matter, u're still in my heart.. =(

Aniwaez, a few more days to the competition..
Strangely, i don't feel anyting.. Hahaha..
As Taufiq wud say, "U memang.." Hehehehe
Sighs.. I Juz wanna get it over and done with..
I wanna get back my life on track..
I miss my team.... ="""(

2008-02-20T12:49:00.002+08:00

I can feel both my knees crying out for mercy..

Argh!!!

Off to HQ to collect my stuff..

*Chiaoz!!!*

2008-02-19T12:04:00.002+08:00

Can't believe i almost cried mid-way yesterday's trng..

Hahaha..

And da ting was, we din even do anyting coz it's juz briefing and planning..

Guess i felt reali reali sick after lunch and it got worse tru da day..

And da guys kept making us laugh tru out da day..

Bole tahan jgk diorg punye merepek.. Hahaha..

One ting's for sure, i'm glad i had Lin and Shahir der wit me..

And i saw Azhar in action during last year's comp..

one word...... WOW!!!!

The level of standard is so high and demanding mann..

Haiz.. Why da hell am i here mann??

Wateva it is, juz gotta squeeze myself dry and study again..

Oh yeah, i juz realized Yasin is more cheekier den Rasul..

Felt bad i din "entertain" him yest coz i was busy typin out da draft..

But i'll make sure nxt trng i "repay" him back..

I felt so comfortable hanging out wit the guys from DTU..

Dis are da oni time i can joke around i gez..

Coz once da SWTT starts, i'll be too xhausted to even smile..

Even now, i can feel da fatigue setting in..

But i gotta endure..

It'll be over soon.. :)

2008-02-16T23:47:00.000+08:00

Sumtimes i wonder why am i so stupid?

Why do i even waste my God forsaken time??

2008-02-16T19:16:00.003+08:00

Wat do guys want?

They wan us to be nice, but they take advantage..

They wan us to be understanding, but then they get complacent..

They wan us to be gentle, but then they say we're weak..

They wan us to be sweet, but then they say we're too pampered..

Wat is it dat guys reali want?

Haiz..

And i thot that some guys can make reali great frens..

But over and over again, i come across guys that tarnish that theory..

Its always the same old thing..

Turns out frenship is indeed a part-time ting for guys..

Well, good for dem..

I dont wanna care about anyone anymore..

Right now, i rather be preferably DEAD.

2008-02-14T10:21:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was the ferst ever time i got into an accident..

I certainly hope its also da last..

And suddenly wat Shahir and i talked about came into my mind..

Was telling him dat i wanted to wear Sari for hari raya..

And i was telling how long Sari was..

His exact werds were why not wear Batik lepas..

And i replied by saying dat Batik lepas is to cover dead people..

We started laughing hysterically..

But after da accident, it juz came to me..

Dat if we da accident was bad, i wud haf reali been wearing da Batik lepas..

Haiyo.. Dat xplains da sleepless nite i had..

Its always like dat, wenever i haf a sleepless nite, sumting is bound to happen..

Its a norm for me to juz wake up in da middle of da nite..

Bt usuali i can fall back to sleep easily..

Ever since my cuzz got "sick", dis pattern seems to be getting worse..

My mum's advice is to stay away for da time being..

And even Atok's advice is for me to avoid contact wit her..

Bt i can't cause i noe she needs us by her side..

Her condition is nt getting any better at all.. Haiz..

Reali hope and pray her condition improves soon..

2008-02-08T17:00:00.000+08:00

I now noe how deep a mother's love is..

I pity my aunt who has to see her daughter suffer..

Wateva dat is hapening to my cuzz right now, she's juz helpless..

Ju sitting der and not being able to do anyting, it's killing her..

Haiz.. Da world is such i guess..

I'm equally sad juz seeing my cuzz like dat..

She's like dis totally different person and she can't even recognize her fiance..

No matter who tries to talk to her, she juz has dis blank look in her eyes..

It's reali scary but everyone is trying to help..

Dis morning though, i can see dat she's starting to recognize some of us..

She looked at me and i can see dat she's sumwer deep inside..

Haiz..

When i told her dat i'll be staying da night today, she juz looked at me and gave me a blank look..

Dat is so unlike her..

But i reali hope dat da person who helped me, can also help her..

It's juz weird sitting der and looking at her but somehow i feel like she's a stranger to me..

Haiz..

I'm juz praying right now dat she comes back to us soon..

2008-02-07T22:09:00.000+08:00

Let time heal da pain..

2008-02-07T18:59:00.000+08:00

I'm juz reali scared of my knee condition right now..

And da most stressful part is, i keep all tings to myself and i can feel it building up ready to xplode..

I juz wanna cry to sumbody and juz pour out my fears..

But instead i made a painful and difficult decision..

I have held back my surgery since last year and i don't know how long i can keep delaying it..

At dis point of time, my career means everyting to me..

I can't afford to lose it coz my world will crumble..

I'm juz lost and confused right now..

The constant fear of my injury destroying my career is growing..

I'm reali reali so scared dat juz da thot of it makes me cry..

I juz don't wan my family and loved ones to see me like dis..

Da doctor's words juz made tings worse..

I don't wanna lose my dreams..

All da hard work, sacrifice and hope..

All dis is reali affecting me badly..

Juz wanna wake up from dis nitemare and end it..

Face your past without regret.
Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear.
Keep faith and drop the fear.
Don’t believe your doubts and never doubt your beliefs.
Life is wonderful if you know how to live it.

2008-02-04T23:38:00.001+08:00

The same old story again..

The same old mistake made..

Another heart-break..

2008-02-04T12:21:00.000+08:00

"Kasih Mengapa"
Song/Lyrics:UrbanSensation
roduce by: Rauzan,BrandNewFeeLinG
(Shaiq;UrbanSensation)

Ku Terperangkap Dalam Kabus Yang Gelap
Tak Dapat Bayangkan Diriku Tanpamu
Semakin Hari Ku Semakin Rindu
Hati Yang Terguris Kini Jadi Sendu

(Rauzan)
Hati Tutup Entah Kerna Apa
Agak Ku Salah Langkah,
Tidak Pernah Sabar
Cuba Hendak Mengerti Jawapan Diberi
Filosofi Cinta Sudah Pudarkan Diri
Tidak Akan Sekali Menyusul Kembali
Cinta Yang Diberi Sanggup Kau Menyakiti
Jiwa Raga Senyuman Diberi
Memori Yang Indah Akan Tetap Ku Ingati

(Shaiq;UrbanSensation)
Kini Ku Sedar Siapa Diriku Ini
Bayanganmu Ku Sering Termimpi-mimpi
Kata-katamu Hanya Manis Di Bibir
Usah Buat Ku Sering Terfikir-fikir

Chorus*
(Shaiq,Roze)
Oh Mengapa Cinta Kita Berubah
Oh Mengapa Cinta Kita Didusta

(Roze)
Ku Terperangkap Dalam Kabus Yang Gelap
Tak Dapat Bayangkan Diriku Tanpamu
Semakin Hari Ku Semakin Rindu
Hati Yang Terguris Kini Jadi Sendu

(Rauzan)
Ingin Ku Merehatkan Diri Dari Segala Fikiran
Cuba Menghebarkan Pesanan Yang Bernas Lagi Bistari
Cinta Itu Buta Tapi Tidak Murah Tetap Dilupakan Remaja
Mengapa Dipersiakan Kalau Tidak Rela
Ini Bukan Permainan Ibarat Boneka
Ku Jujur Ku Teguh Tetap Ikhlas Di hati
Tapi Bukan Bayangmu Yang Kudekapi

(Shaiq;UrbanSensation)
Oh Mengapa Cinta Kita Berubah
Oh Mengapa Cinta Kita Didusta

(Roze)
Kini Ku Sedar Siapa Diriku Ini
Bayanganmu Ku Sering Termimpi-mimpi
Kata-katamu Hanya Manis Di Bibir
Usah Buat Ku Sering Terfikir-fikir

Chorus*

2008-02-02T12:43:00.000+08:00

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and
I Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

2008-02-02T12:04:00.000+08:00

Dis month is gonna be hell for me..

But oh well, I take it as a challenge..

I hate it wen either yan or nizar reminds me about their ORD dates..

Like wat Vincent said, we wil feel da loss..

Gosh!! I hate goodbyes and dat's for sure..

Hmmm.. Let's juz hope dat da frenship stays even wit da distance..

Niwaez, im like so mentally drained out right now..

Tink dis month i'm gonna be werking more den 16 hours..

After werk stil need to finish up a lot of tings..

But, i have no commitment, well, xcept my family..

But i thank God dat my family undastands my schedule and they try nt to disturb me..

All i can say is, all da best to my future bf/husband..

Hahaha.. I hope dat i can find sumone who can undastand my job..

Especially if one day he has to wake up and realize i might never come home again..

Hahahahahaha..

Ok, dat shud haf never came out.. **TOUCHWOOD**

Alrite, another nite of hell and i'm LOVING IT!!!

Adios..

2008-01-27T17:51:00.000+08:00

Been a while since i updated coz of da reali hectic schedule dis month..

But i'm enjoying every minute of it no matter how mentally and physically draining it is..

Felt like time is moving xtremely fast nowadays..

Da duties are coming one after another and seems like der's no rest..

But i was happy coz during one of da duties, i saw my squad-mate..

Felt like it's been ages i've seen all of dem..

Started smsing my OC and he surprised me by telling me dat he told his new squad about my "encounter"..

Hahahaha.. Take it as a lesson to deter dem from trying out anyting stupid while in camp..

I'm hating it as da days for our 2 bloody SC's ORD dates are coming..

Esp my Mangkok man.. :'''''(

He's gonna ORD soon and i'm gonna be missing my best fren so much..

Hope he doesn't forget me though.. Hahahaha

And sumting happened during da last nite shift dat made me felt so disappointed in myself..

Haiz... I actuali cried my eyes out after i realized wat i've juz did..

Thanks to my best fren for listening and comforting me..

Dis wil be a learning lesson for me and i wil do da task myself rather den trusting others to do it..

Well, my d&d was loads of fun and i was reali glad i went..

Hahaha.. But i tink der was an incident wer if given a chance, i'd rather NOT do it..

But wat da hell, wat's done is done..

Lets da pics do da talking..

2008-01-11T23:35:00.000+08:00

The memories of u stil bring tears to my eyes.......

2008-01-11T12:01:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling so freaking sick rite now i can barely turn my neck..

Hahaha..

Bt it was fun hanging out wit da guys at the chalet last nite..

I love my team and most importantly, i LOVE my mangkok man..

U never fail to make me smile..

Thanks.. :)

2008-01-06T12:49:00.000+08:00

I'm scared and lost right now..

I don't know how long i can hold up..

I'm scared my dreams will be shattered into a million pieces..

It's threatening to destroy everyting i took so long to build..

Ya Allah, berikan lah aku kekuatan..

"becoz u're our blood and soul.."

My strength to stay and fight is no longer there..

I want to move on..

I want to start afresh..

I want to forget u coz the memories of us are too painful..

I've never been dis weak but right now,

the strain of it all is taking its toll on me..

I give up.

2008-01-05T16:53:00.000+08:00

I'M A GROUCHY MONSTER TODAY.

I reali gotta cut down on my smoking mann..

Juz realized yesterday i smoked a total of 17 sticks.. Gosh!!

Even Kin was shocked.. Haha..

As wat TL said, "Noon, u always laugh coz u high on nicotine is it??" Haha

And it's official..

U can't put Kin, Ali and me in a car and ask us to find CTE..

Coz we ended up turning around and around Serangoon area juz to find the exit..

And i'm reali reali bad wit my directions dat's for sure..

Took Ali almost an hour before i'm officially safe home..

Teehee.. Sorry Ali..

Zul called me after werk last night..

He is stil da same caring guy dat i knew in camp..

Always concerned for my well-being and also my family..

How cud i haf been so ignorant as to ignore him all dis while.. Haiz.....

Told him dat my knee gave me a whole lot of problems yesterday..

I can barely walk up the stairs for goodness sake..

Haiz.. The pain is back with a vengeance..

Aisha is going for her surgery dis month.. All da best sweethart..

Hope she'll haf a smooth operation and a speedy recovery..

The pending question right now is,

When's my turn????

2008-01-03T22:37:00.000+08:00

Artist: Rihanna
Song: Cry
Album: Good Girl Gone Bad

i'm not the type to get my heart broken
i'm not the type to get upset and cry
cause i never leave my heart open
never hurts me to say goodbye
relationships don't get deep to me
never got the whole in love thing
and someone can say they love me truely
but at the time it didn't mean a thing

my mind is gone, i'm spinning round
and deep inside, my tears i'll drown
i'm losing grip, what's happening
i stray from love, this is how i feel

this time was different
felt like, i was just a victim
and it cut me like a knife
when you walked out of my life
now i'm, in this condition
and i've, got all the symptoms
of a girl with a broken heart
but no matter what you'll never see me cry

did it happen when we first kissed
cause it's hurting me to let it go
maybe cause we spent so much time
and i know that it's no more
i shoulda never let you hold me baby
maybe why i'm sad to see us apart
i didn't give to you on purpose
gotta figure out how you stole my heart

my mind is gone, i'm spinning round
and deep inside, my tears i'll drown
i'm losing grip, what's happening
i stray from love, this is how i feel

this time was different
felt like, i was just a victim
and it cut me like a knife
when you walked out of my life
now i'm, in this condition
and i've, got all the symptoms
of a girl with a broken heart
but no matter what you'll never see me cry

how did i get here with you, i'll never know
i never meant to let it get so, personal
after all i tried to do, stay away from loving you
i'm broken hearted, i can't let you know
and i won't let it show
you won't see me cry

this time was different
felt like, i was just a victim
and it cut me like a knife
when you walked out of my life
now i'm, in this condition
and i've, got all the symptoms
of a girl with a broken heart
but no matter what you'll never see me cry

this time was different
felt like, i was just a victim
and it cut me like a knife
when you walked out of my life
now i'm, in this condition
and i've, got all the symptoms
of a girl with a broken heart
but no matter what you'll never see me cry

all my life...

2008-01-03T22:11:00.000+08:00

Looks like i haf to bubble my best fren again..

So sorry Zul coz i cant mit u tmrw night..

Aniwaeeeezzzz, today dre were sum tings up in my schedule..

Ferst ting in da morning, took my darling baby to the vet today to get sterilized..

Hehe.. Before leaving the house, my mum and my bro hugged and kissed him..

By the way, my baby is a cat..

**For those who are blur like "U"!! Hehehe..

After dropping him off at the vet, i went to meet my nephew..

It's his 2nd day of kindergarden..

I missed da ferst day coz i was werking..

He looked so adorable in his uniform and he gave me a big big hug before going in..

:))

He went to the same kindergarden dat his elder brother and i went to..

Hehehe.. Memory rush.. :p

I miss dos days wer it was all play and no stress..

After fetching him in da afternoon, left to fetch my baby at the vet..

Haha, the nurse was actuali scared to get him out of the cage..

He looked so weak and tired dat it almost made me cry.. :((

And my baby is not allowed to eat or drink until tmrw morning..

:((.. It's almost 24 hours since he last ate.. :((

Argh!!!

Well, i gotta stay up tonite and make sure he's ok.. :((

And to u, u pushed me too far..

I will fight back, and i will fight back harder..

F*** U..